Thursday, April 17, 2008

Finally?

So, I was finally recalled to my workplace. I wasn't extatic and am
still not. But at least my mind is a bit settled and the anxiety
attacks are almost fully gone. And just as am settling down my boss
tells me that there is a possibility that the company could retrench,
then he tells me not to worry! Really? I haven't even signed a
contract! Shit! What is this? Life's idea of a rollercoster ride?! I
swear if shit keeps up this way I will go nuts!
But wait... Maybe instead of having anxiety attacks and being afraid,
I can turn this into an adrenaline rush thing. You know, make it my
extreme sport! Push it by blowing away all my cash and then waiting to
see if I can make more before am totally broke! Hhmmm... a very
attractive thought!
Anywho, all I can say now is: Bring it on bitch!

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Friday, April 11, 2008

Panic attack

I had to blog about this day. So here goes. Last night I got in touch
with my boss, the long 'n' short of which is that today is when he is
to tell me my employment fate. I barely slept last night. This morning
the anxiety attack was even worse. So I decided to take some Irish
coffee to calm my nerves. I got past the 1st cup. On my 2nd the
churning in my stomach was overwhelming, I threw up!
The anxiety grew. I went to the bank and I could barely handle or sign
the documents! My hands were shaking like wow!
As am doing this blog am at a restaurant waiting for my date. My
stomach is still churning and my mind is spinning. I can barely drink
my beer (never happened before!).
Now, I have two bad options and one good one.
1. My boss doesn't call me, I have a mental breakdown.
2. My boss calls and tells me I don't have a job, I have a mental breakdown.
3. My boss calls me and tells me I have a job, I become hysterical.
All I can do now is sit back hope I don't throw up on my date or crap
myself and wait!

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